Letting go of someone who you’ve invested a part of yourself in is never easy. Especially in the current climate when everything around us is one big question mark. You feel soothed by the familiar comfort he brings you, but you know that the relationship is weighing both of you down. So how do you peel away from a bond that took so long to build?
Take as much time as you need (but not more than you should)
It won’t happen overnight, that’s for sure. But if leaving has been an idea that you’ve been wrestling with for a good while, it may be time to have that discussion. The “talk” must be handled truthfully yet delicately–remember that he may not feel as definitive about this as you do. You want to make sure the timing makes sense (although there’s never really a right time) and think about what you want to actually say. But don’t let it hang over your head so long that you overthink your decision; you don’t want to second guess yourself and fall back into your old ways.
Envision your future
Visualize your path and plans for yourself long-term. Is he in it? And if he is, are you truly happy? There’s a difference between “fantasizing” about the future and “seeing” it for what it potentially could be. Let go of the fantasy.
Remind yourself that it’s OK to still love them from a distance
Ending things with someone doesn’t mean you have to fall out of love with them altogether—it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work. Avoid taking drastic measures like searching for a rebound or taking part in other post-breakup rituals that you’ll end up regretting. You can still love him without being with him (but eventually you will be able to get him out of your system).
Remember that you are your number one priority. If the person you love isn’t able to fulfill your core needs, it’s best to walk away. Know you are worth more than that, and avoid blaming yourself for the fallout of the relationship.
Cut off contact
It takes maturity for two people to be able to end on good terms, and it’s not always possible. But sometimes taking time away from each other can ease the stress of the breakup. If you need to revisit closure at a later time, let him know. But it may be best to avoid contact with him for the time being in order to heal properly.